2011 in Retrospect
2011 has been an interesting year. It has been one of personal, social, and career development. As always I feel there is much more I could have accomplished - perhaps next year after I am in the military I will be able to feel more fulfilled. As it stands now I feel there is much wasted time but, for once, I feel it is the last time I have to waste. This blog has existed once (or twice) before, deleted because I didn’t feel the need to keep a blog up. I’m not much of a social networking person, I’m more of a creative person. Not only that, I think best in solitude. I create best in solitude. It is where I am comfortable and content. Despite this the older I get the more I feel the desire to find people who think like I do. This blog was reincarnated in May in an attempt to reach out to like minded individuals. I wanted a place to display my stories, the pictures I find funny, the books that I read - pretty much anything that holds my interest, so other people can enjoy them. In this aspect, I believe I made the right choice. And this blog will continue to see activity in 2012 - with the exception of the two and a half months I am going to be in basic training (January to early March).
This year can be broken up into three segments - there was the beginning when I was on no-path, the summer when I was transitioning into Air Force mode, and the waiting period (which is drawing to a close in a couple of days). At the start of the year I was going to community college (three classes) and working full time as a cook at a Mexican Restaurant, El Charro. It wasn’t a terrible job, I just had this feeling in my soul that I had attained everything I could from the experience offered. I had been working there since I was 15 (I started as a dishwasher) and over time I worked my way up to being a cook. It never felt like enough. My job wasn’t satisfying me. School was unsettling to me. I was a bit of a slacker and enjoyed skipping class as much as I enjoyed sleeping in class. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the credits, I just didn’t feel much motivation to do anything. Eventually, this lack of motivation would be the largest motivation for me to join the Air Force - because I knew I was capable of more. I knew I had the potential to be a great human being. As things stood at the end of May, I felt like my life was a waste through and through.
It was June when I began talking to my recruiter. He was a big help and made sure I knew what I was getting into. The more I found out, the more I wanted in. The Air Force looked like the perfect opportunity to live a good life and get a good education, all while setting myself up for a future that would otherwise be unattainable. Everything with my recruiter went smoothly but each step felt like it was the biggest one I had taken in my entire life. I still remember sitting at the kitchen table with my Air Force packet laid out before me. It was entirely filled out, all that was left was my signature on the front signaling my intention to join the Air Force. I was nervous because as much as I wanted this, I knew that my life would never be the same. And a small part of me was still feeling like a rebel, and in a big way this was submitting to the man. What ultimately pushed me over the edge? Two things: maturity set in, and the desire inside myself for change was overwhelming.
Once I made the decision to go at the military full force things moved very quickly. I went through MEPs (military entrance processing, where I had to do a drug test, vision test, hearing test, etc.) which was an experience in itself, and then went through it again (partially) because my weight wasn’t high enough for my height. It was mid August when I finally got a job and a contract, roughly a month and a half after the ball started rolling. Once I had a job I had to play the waiting game until my ship date, January 3rd. I quit working at El Charro at the end of October to take a two-month long vacation (that ended up costing me an obscene amount of money because I still had bills to pay) because I was tired of working there. Not tired of working, just tired of working there. I took this vacation for me; I wanted to wind down before I began the journey of my life. And in a very big way, that’s how I’m looking at the military - a bridge that will take me to the next bridge, which will lead to the next bridge, until one day the bridge collapses and I die.
At the beginning of this year I felt like I was inside what I call the “birth trap” - it is the life that I was born into and had grown into with little conscious mind being paid to my decisions. I was doing what I was doing because I felt like I had to - I felt like my decisions weren’t my decisions really and the life I was living was falling out sloppily instead of unfolding gracefully. With the Air Force, I have made the conscious decision to make myself a better person. Not only that, I will be living my own life and doing things I never would have been able to otherwise. I have grown so much in the last year it’s astounding - this year, truly, is the most I have grown in my entire life. If you were to tell me last December I was going to be leaving for basic training the following January, I wouldn’t have believed you. And yet here I am - nervous, excited, anxious, and fully prepared.
Let’s take a look at some of my favorite posts from the last year (well, technically eight months):
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/5888794196/inside-but-without
The first post of my new, fresh Tumblr. It was written in about five minutes, lost in a pile of papers for several months, then rediscovered and edited into its current state.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/5902197023
I loved this picture and still do.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/6046842050/this-post-is-about-writing
I think this post is a good description of how I approach writing. I love how I said my driving force as a writer is to write the impossible; it really is. My personal motto has always been, “I can’t write anything that has been written before.”
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/6805179325/here-i-stand
Oh young, naive Crate. This was the day I went to MEPs for the first time. SPOILER ALERT: I was underweight so I had to go back in two weeks. -.-
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/6727644420/last-night-i-finished-reading-island-by-aldous
My first book review, “Island” by Aldous Huxley. And what a great book it is. After I am out of basic training this is the first book I am going to read (again).
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/9634832501/the-complex-plan-unfolds-itself-in-such-an
I never fancied myself much of a poet, but there are certain pieces I have written that I am proud of. This is one of them.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/9221247912/life-stuff-happened-yesterday-i-worked-a-food
Hilarious picture. And I remember the Air Show fondly; I can’t wait to go to another one. Also, “We’re like super Americans”. xD I still agree with my assessment that it is a culture-within-a-culture. It’s like America, the job! I do like how I ended it with “I seriously can’t wait…” Yeah past Crate, I can’t either, and it’s less than a week away now. x.x
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/9304426270
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/9462853878
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/9219865270/did-somebody-say-bear-week
My favorite pictures from bear week. I wanted to do other themed weeks but never followed through with the idea. Maybe in 2012?
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/10129589859/now-youre-a-man-orgazmo-theme-song
This song is going to be the theme running through my head while I’m at basic training.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/10168809043/growth-industry
Growth Industry, one of my favorite stories I’ve written yet, and this one took about six hours from concept to completion.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/10695221154/an-explosion-seen-from-far-away-gives-us-light-to
Another poem I am quite proud of.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/11760392841/life-goes-on
My last day working at El Charro. How I felt when I wrote this post is pretty much exactly how I feel now. I still want to attain my highest vision. I want to be the best box I can be. In a way, these past two months have been their own period of my life - the spiritual growth period. A little sliver of time that separates everything from my past and everything from my future. On Monday another door is closing and another door is opening. Life goes on.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/12617919151/i-think-this-is-the-most-terrifying-fish-ive-ever
Whenever I think I’m having a bad day, I look at this picture. So terrifying.
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/13792587921
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/13849197673
Two white board images I did. I always wanted to do more but never quite got around to it. Maybe in 2012? Also that second one was the end of my black marker. x.x
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/13684456096/red-fish-part-1-of-2
http://thegreatcrate.tumblr.com/post/13734305991/red-fish-part-2-of-2
And here is what I feel is my best story written to date. So epic it takes two parts!
To close this out, here is my favorite picture I posted this year (drum roll please):
